no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
