haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
