tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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