she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
