I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
