i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
