just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
