Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize