what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
