he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
