He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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