It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
