I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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