we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
