my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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