Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
