I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize