fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
