How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
