Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You brought string cheese to the strip club
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
