sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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