K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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