Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
