what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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