16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
