Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize