there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
