guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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