I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
