There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize