Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
