She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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