and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Randomize
