Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
