i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
