I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
