i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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