escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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