I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
