id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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