What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Found your dick twin last night
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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