Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
