Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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