But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
