Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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