Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
