literally had 100 drinks last night.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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