I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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