how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
