Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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