whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
