Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I deserve this hangover.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
