$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
