I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So. Much. Porn.
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