I wish I could teleport
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
