Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
