He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize