yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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