good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
