we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
