They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
