Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
