One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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