I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
