Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize